Who has a psychology degree?

What's the difference between arrogance and self-confidence? Why aren't self-confidence and self-esteem the same thing? (and why does this cursor go so bloody slow - gah! Gonna try typing into TextEdit and cut and paste instead ...) And what prompts one to ask these questions, you ask? Can I answer with another question? I mean another after that one? And that one there? Ditto? Geezo, would you just STOP IT woman!

OK, I was having a shower - always thinking in the shower, doesn't everyone? - and thinking about the Mental Health Community forum I went to last night. They had several speakers, including a lady who has schizophrenia, and although her explanation and observations were very personal, informative and above all delivered well, I couldn't help but think that I could have done better. Not that my story is any more tragic or interesting than her's, but that I could engage, inform and entertain people better. How awfully judgemental is that! Which led me to thinking about what an arrogant thought it was and likened it to the thought's I was having the other day when talking to a friend about his tutor's at his TAFE course. The gentleman who lectures there is a music manager, but (and again, there's the judgement) within the local industry, and is interested in meeting me. I'm sure I could tell him a thing or two about my experiences, and perhaps - as they're on a wider scale - they could also be of interest to his students. (Of course, I was more likely thinking "I know more than you do" but I am trying not to be so arrogant about it. Oops, failed.) I will go and meet this gentleman lecturer and I now want to see if there is a place for me to send my writing to with regards to my experiences as a Mental Health Consumer and see if there is anything other people can learn from it. When I thought about it again, it all sounded a bit arrogant to me. So, what is the difference then, between arrogance and self-confidence, where does the line lie? Is it drawn by the motivation behind the thoughts, between wanting to - in this instance - share knowledge as opposed to boasting about it? These are the things I think about whilst having a shower...

And then when I started writing, I wondered how I could possibly feel confident enough to want to go out there and share my observations with others, when I have such l-o-w self-esteem? (We're talking kinda mid-Pacific Ocean trenches kinda l-o-w here). Why aren't self-confidence and self-esteem the same thing? Does anyone have heaps of both? Does everyone have a deficit in one of them?

I have no answers today. I had made myself a promise that seeing that it is my BIRTHDAY (yep, 21 again ...) that I would not be participating in my illness today, but it seems that my quiet times lead to contemplation. Which leads me here.

Happy birthday to me :) I made it! Bring on Christmas ...