"Given that happiness is an objective, what, truthfully, would make you happy?"
Good question! Happiness would be getting into the UWA Arts degree, studying Philosophy/European Studies, enjoying it and actually being any good at it. That's what I'd like just now. I'd also like to have my own place sometime soon, as it's hard living in this wee box room when I think of 1094 Cathcart Road and how wonderful that space and time was for me. But again, it's all a process, so I'm sure that will eventuate, at some point. I'm taking each day as it comes, and trying to gain little amounts of happiness from each one, step by step seems to be the key. Ensuring I have routines, achieve small things every day, connect with people that are important to me, learn and try to be a little more at peace with myself. It's a constant battle, there are far too many things I want to do/see/experience, but by trying to not be so impatient and realising that there are severe limitations as to what I can achieve and experience just now - and accepting those limitations as not being restrictive, but productive - then I can go forward, slowly but surely.
It certainly helps to not have to work, and to not have to worry about money (so much). I can't do anywhere near the amount of things I want to do/enjoy doing, but I've pared down my life and trying to establish what the really important things to me are, and to try and do them more. Sometimes it works, sometimes it leads me to immense frustrations as I realise what's important is something I want that can't happen until at least four years into the future from now. So I have to accept the "process" (there's that word again), that time is linear, that all good things come to those that wait, and work through the actions that can lead me there.
Mind you, this is all in theory, as I have countless hours of pondering over millions of outcomes, trying to establish the "core me". But I suppose I am just trying to find out who I am, what is important to me, and nurturing those things, so that I can start liking myself a little more, believe in my abilities a lot more and become the person I have pretended to be for so long.
Here's hoping :)
What would make you happy?
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3 comments:
Hanging out with yoooou!!!
Well, Jen is right of course, but I'm lucky coz you're currently cooking something sweet and delicious and then bringing it over to hang out with me! So I will try and answer seriously coz it's a very good question.
Actually I think I'm super-super-super lucky because right now I'm able to do most of the things that make me happy (teach gorgeous/fascinating students, write and get paid for it, have a cool husband (oops that probably should've come first), see my family regularly, have a nice house and good weather). In one of those idealistic worlds I'd have a bit more cash so I could visit some of my special friends and family who live really far away.
What you said about the process and time being linear etc is all so very, very true because I can remember wanting what I have now about 5 - 10 years ago and working towards it and now I have it! So it is possible. The thing is of course that there are always more things you want to make you happy and that's probably a good thing because otherwise what would you do when you got there?? So now I imagine that future happy things'll be having a family, publishing a novel or two or ...?? and ?? I don't know what else. Hanging out with you, I guess!!!!!!!
A. xxx
thank you ladies, that's very very lovely of you both :) xxx
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