Wednesday 27 February 2008

Not so keen on this

I know I shouldn't be worrying about what a study says, but it seems to be a pretty comprehensive study and it makes me wonder just why or whether my drugs really do actually work for me ...

Antidepressants a waste of time

Prozac does not work

What to do? I know how bad things got when I stopped taking them last time, I promised myself I wouldn't do that again. But do I really know that the Effexor is working and not just making me fuzzy and cloudy and stuff? Maybe it is as good as a Placebo? And the high dose that I'm on is just to make me feel like I'm on them?

Too hard just now ...

EDIT:- Just read this now and it's made me feel a little better, as if I'm part of an enlightened group of philosophers.

The good that depression can bring

Maybe I won't do so bad at my degree after all?

I just didn't like the way any of the articles said that these researches have "proven" that only the seriously depressed can benefit from anti-depressants. Because I'm feeling well just now, I don't like to think that I was - and possibly will be again - that sick, that this illness is so affecting. I wish I didn't have it, but there ain't nothing I can do about it, especially since it has biological, environmental and personality markers.

At least I don't get sick by halves either though! HA!

Monday 25 February 2008

Should I?

As part of my getting organised in time for Uni starting next week, I am SERIOUSLY thinking of installing this program LeechBlocker ... Not sure if I would use it though! Any thoughts from out there in cyberworld???

Wednesday 20 February 2008

The internet is amazing ...

Yet again, I have found a bunch of articles that blow my mind or inspire me to write, and naturlich (did I spell it right Amanda, if you read this? I know there's an umlaut somewhere but I have no idea how to type that on my keyboard) I have to preserve them for posterity's sake. I should be doing work on myspaz, I will get to that in a wee second or so ...

Mysteries of computer from 65BC
I know this article is from 2006, I have NO idea how the hell I came across it today, but it is just bloody incredible that this kind of technology existed so fricking long ago. What happened to the human race in the interim? How did we lose the intelligence that led to the production of such an accurate and beautiful object? Did religion wipe people's brains? I'm reading Dawkins' "The God Delusion" at the moment, so please give me a break on that last comment. Anyway, regardless of what the reason was, I'm astonished that the mechanism exists and will hopefully be able to view it one day in a museum.

Actually, I can't be bothered writing more now, it's time for the washing up. How awfully dull.

Tuesday 19 February 2008

Punctuation follow up

Why can I use a comma and not an ampersand then in the labels? Actually, I know that its not called a comma, but I cannot remember its name - the little ' thing used to separate singular and plural words - so it will have to be a comma for now. What else can I test? Question and exclamation marks, will give it a go now.

The man is a genius

Charlie Brooker once again finds the time wax lyrically on another stupid bureaucratic ideal, the idea of a Smoker's Permit. I need to find more time to devote to reading all Brooker articles, for at least they will keep me sane in this horrendous city. I spent 45minutes this afternoon waiting at a bus stop listening to the inane goings-on of a bunch of (mostly private) high school children and I wished on a number of occasions that I was either dead, drunk or at least in the possession of my iPod so I could stop listening to them. I shan't be travelling on public transport again without it, I think it's a necessary weapon to remove society from my surroundings. How awful is that? And snobbish? My goodness, if I spend any more time in Sholl Avenue, I just may end up voting Tory sometime soon ...

And whilst I'm ranting, I was very frustrated yesterday to not be able to use an ampersand character in the labels for my post. I can't be bothered emailing Blogger about it as I'm sure it won't get me anywhere, but I don't understand their need to policy the use of punctuation in labels. Surely a search engine that can read punctuation exists? Actually, I'm probably just expecting far too much of the world as per usual.

At least I had two good meetings today, my professional support network has dropped from three to two, but they were both encouraging and excited for me today with the job and study news. Now, if I can only just avoid M&D until Kel comes to pick me up, it will be a happy day.

Monday 18 February 2008

things i can't forget to remember...

I subscribe to FAR too many mailing lists. I succeeded last year in un-subscribing from a heap of them, but as sure as day follows night (as it does here, maybe not at the Pole's) I have found myself reading through PILES and PILES of online stories about anything and everything. A week away doesnae help either, I read and deleted most of my personal messages on the Crack, but most mails containing weblinks were avoided. So, after a half-day at University today and the incredible promise of a very MATTE new MacBook still to be opened, I delve into the depths of my mail on this lovely fading iBook and come across the following ...

Bel talking about patriotism and Scottish music in The Guardian
I miss the wee notes we used to write. Actually, there's a lot of things I miss and I suppose I hadn't remembered the remarkably distant yet involving way in which Bel writes until I came across this article. I wish I'd been at Jason's Hogmanay party instead of Popstarz or wherever I ended up in London with Cath that NYE, but I suppose if I'd had, the next 12 years or so would have panned out pretty differently I think!

Caledonia Dreamin'
Here's hoping they spoke to Jackson as well as Murdoch for the B&S perspective in this documentary, as he is the true West Coast music man. But then Murdoch lived there for a while too? Oh sod it, they all feel the same affinity, it does indeed pervade the musical spirit of Glasgow, but then so do very many other times and places as well. I want to see this doco asap however, maybe I'll have to try and download that frog software torrent thingy on the MacBook. MB: that needs an nickname. I'll have to ponder on it for the evening ...

Friday 8 February 2008

Sunday 3 February 2008

A very very stupid video

When I was looking back at the blog this AM, I remembered the videos I have of the night I wrote my name in the snow, and for some stupid reason I decided to post it. Here's hoping this works ...



And yes, that is me laughing like a fool. You have to remember I was quite quite drunk though ... Apologies to Fi and Gem as well, I love and miss you ladies awfully.

Updatey

Klaxons programmed rage last night, just watching it back now. Don't you love it when bands you love, love music you love? Anyways, Galaxie 500 on now, reminded me of a recent email Blair sent about listening to same so here we go.

23 is good, I don't feel much older than that most days anyways! Was watching Spooks yesterday, there was a bomb in the block of flats I use to share with Kitchen and I was 23 then. I reckon I felt about 30 sometimes then, kinda weird to look back on I suppose. Was nice to see Green Dragon Lane hadn't changed any, but sad that I had no-one to tell and share it with. Never mind it's all up there somewhere.

Just trying to get a frigging budget together for University. having the most severe fights with my parents at the moment about money. (DEPECHE MODE now!!! Fuck, these boys are even cuter than I thought they were. Did I ever tell you about the DM concert I went to? Fucking hope not.) They've got pots of cash, I could do with a decent wad to get me set up and settled, it ain't forthcoming by any stretch of the imagination. Bastards. So I will have to be a proper pauper student. There are plenty of rich guys in this town who I could pursue, the mining boom is disgusting and people are rolling in money like you wouldn't believe. I had to pay $4.50 for a coffee the other day, it would be $3.00 in Melbourne. Was a very good coffee though. I'll figure it all out, somehow. Actually, I really don't know how I will, but I know that I have to, so I have semi-faith in it.

Waiting to hear back from a friend who are playing the Big Day Out this afternoon too. I'm meant to be meeting another friend for lunch, so I'll see here and then pop down to check out some bands. It's roasting hot outside though, so I'll need to suncream up proper. The last thing I want is skin cancer, after 10 years of choosing no sun. (OK, the sexsy Klaxon boy just chose Blur, holy bugger.) Dunno who I'll catch, three of my favourite live bands are playing so maybe I'll do an all dayer if I can bear the heat. You were at that Arcade Fire show @ the GUU, weren't you? I haven't seen them since then, I don't reckon they'd ever beat that for me - especially outside in forty fucking degrees - but I still wanna see the Neon Bible stuff. And watching LCD from the side of stage at Glasto with S&D will be impossible to beat too, but heat exhaustion will be worth it I'm sure. Did you get their recent album? Beyond superb, James Murphy is a genius.

Sadly, Uni is here in Perth. The actual University campus is gorgeous, the closest you can get to Europe here in Perth, the grounds of the Arts part are Oxbridge-esque and it's on the river as well. Check it http://www.uwa.edu.au Compared to the rest of Perth, it's Paradise really. Did I tell you what I'm studying? Philosophy, Politics, Latin and European Studies. I am tossing up between doing a year here in perth then transferring to the University of Melbourne to finish off, but I may just suck up being here. UWA are very encouraging for students to do a semester o/s, so I think I'll probably accept the three years here and try and spend semester 2 of 2009 in Europe. Would love to do it in London, but I'd probably be better off going to Scandinavia, try something different. To focus on Philosophy in the UK I'd probably have to go to Bristol or Sheffield. Sheffield I ain't so keen on, Bristol would be lovely as I'd be near my closest cousin - and she's just had a baby too, so that would be super nice - but I have lived in the UK so it's probably time to try something different. Anyway, that's all moot considering I haven't even started yet! Here's hoping I love my subjects, I really can't say why I'm doing what I';m doing, they just seem so amazing and excitingly attractive. I can't quite believe I am getting the opportunity to study them, I hope it's going to be all I want it to be. My latest daydream is to double major in Philosophy and European Studies, head back to the UK and do some post-grad at a super beautiful Uni - maybe even back in Glasgie - and then a whizz-bang public sector diplomatic bollocks or something. Or just fall back into the music biz probably. Who knows. The most important thing I gotta do now is figure out how the fuck I'm going to pay for it and not have to change my lifestyle too much.

So there you go, a wee update from me...