EDIT: Oh aye it worked alright. If I could only fig how to remove the sig that would make it better. Anyway, never again will I have to type shit out and never post it, hodden as it is in the depths of my inbox. Could be interesting ...
Sunday 29 June 2008
Testing?
Trying to blog from Crack, will it work? Should I really enable it? Could be dangerous...
Saturday 21 June 2008
blogshite
So, why does a random boy who kisses my ear because he bumped into me on his way past make me want to cry? This ain't fair. How long am I supposed to wait for a response to an email? Two days? A week? Both are probably far too long. I could pretend that there was a *better* email address I could have sent it to, I could complain that I shouldn't have waited so long to send it in the first place, I could say all sorts of things to delude myself that its not that "he's just not that into me" ... But I haven't woken up to that yet. I don't want to. But I suppose I will have to. However, its now time to dance. Fuck all that shite. Surely I'm worth more?
Dearest Geraldine
I am in a night of hell in Brisbane - Cutters afterparty gone wrong, so many bogans! - and we have to do it all over again tomorrow night in Sydney... That'll be better though, I hope. Gah.
I didn't see Ben in the end, I was all waiting for his call and he never turned up at the party. Turns out a good friend of his' brother died suddenly that night and he was caught up in that. So I was all waiting for my date to turn up, dancing with my friends and just chatting to people I knew. It was fun, I was super tired - had caught the red eye over that AM - but I ended up talking to this boy for a long time who I kinda know. He's - surprise surprise - in a band and I've always thought he was gorgeous, but he was taken. Except he's not anymore, so I did the last thing I expected to do that night and ended up going back to his, where he couldn't have been sweeter or more lovely. So I fall for him - of course - and then when I try and make arrangements to see him later in the week, he's all busy. And I come back to Perth all sad cos I thought he was lovely and I decide I'm going back to Melb for another week during my holidays. So, I email to tell him that, and 48hours later still nothing :( It was a nice confidence boost, but I would never have gone back to his - usually - if I thought it was just a one night thing. Sorry to dump all that on you! I was too busy to call Ben again, I probably was quite silly in not messaging him to say goodbye. I owe him an email I suppose.
I've decided that I really have to try and move back to Melb at the end of this semester. I can't ever have the type of life I want in Perth, I don't know enough people to go out with, everyone is taken. I was out in Melbourne for three hours and I'd talked to a bunch of handsome single guys. So miserable!
Right, I gotta go make sure that Dan + Ben are actually DJing still and not off chasing girlies. Single boys, who'd look after 'em!
Miss you, have a fabulous rest of your trip and I look forward to seeing you when we're both "home" in Perth.
I didn't see Ben in the end, I was all waiting for his call and he never turned up at the party. Turns out a good friend of his' brother died suddenly that night and he was caught up in that. So I was all waiting for my date to turn up, dancing with my friends and just chatting to people I knew. It was fun, I was super tired - had caught the red eye over that AM - but I ended up talking to this boy for a long time who I kinda know. He's - surprise surprise - in a band and I've always thought he was gorgeous, but he was taken. Except he's not anymore, so I did the last thing I expected to do that night and ended up going back to his, where he couldn't have been sweeter or more lovely. So I fall for him - of course - and then when I try and make arrangements to see him later in the week, he's all busy. And I come back to Perth all sad cos I thought he was lovely and I decide I'm going back to Melb for another week during my holidays. So, I email to tell him that, and 48hours later still nothing :( It was a nice confidence boost, but I would never have gone back to his - usually - if I thought it was just a one night thing. Sorry to dump all that on you! I was too busy to call Ben again, I probably was quite silly in not messaging him to say goodbye. I owe him an email I suppose.
I've decided that I really have to try and move back to Melb at the end of this semester. I can't ever have the type of life I want in Perth, I don't know enough people to go out with, everyone is taken. I was out in Melbourne for three hours and I'd talked to a bunch of handsome single guys. So miserable!
Right, I gotta go make sure that Dan + Ben are actually DJing still and not off chasing girlies. Single boys, who'd look after 'em!
Miss you, have a fabulous rest of your trip and I look forward to seeing you when we're both "home" in Perth.
Tuesday 17 June 2008
Am I the most ungrateful biatch in the world?
Fessing up time: following on from my "10 things I'd like" post, this additional one is what I really want, but didn't think I should post ...
Oops, too late now. All I can say is, just gorgeous, in that swoony kinda dreamy way ... hmmm.
Moving on to the title of this post, I came home to a box shaped article in my doorway. Not remembering that I'd ordered anything of said shape recently - I do sometimes forget - I realised that mother had been shopping and has bought a duvet cover for the duvet she bought about three weeks for my bed. I had told myself I would go and pick my very own special duvet up from my other little home in Abbotsford whilst in Melbourne last week, but I was too busy counting t-shirts instead. I don't know if I really have the time, patience or ability to type for that long, but it goes without saying that my bed and my duvet/bedding are a couple of my most favourite things in the world. The year I bought the flat and all the associated furniture pretty much culminated with the purchase and delivery of the most comfortable thing I have ever had the pleasure of sleeping in. It is my sanctuary. And, when I was purchasing bedding, I flew in the face of 8 years of variously toned striped blue hues and went for something that I wanted and loved, as I no longer had to please anyone other than myself. So, it ended up being a dusty kinda dark pink, which I find incredibly romantic, seductive, warm, cosy and beautiful. Ooh I found a picture ... (please excuse the Eagles Bear)
Can you see where this is heading?
Anyways, I've only been back in Perth for a year now, making do with various tripled-up blankets, an eiderdown/coverlet/piece of rubbish, a beautiful deep red covered single duvet generously donated by Amanda and when I found it at Jen's in February, my lovely snuggly pinkish throw that I had for when I first moved to Melbourne and it was freezing in Glenlyon Road. Safe to say, this bed is not my sanctuary, its just a "make do" kind of a vaguely comfortable place where I spend most of my time whilst in the house. As I can't be in my old room - too long a story to go into, most would understand and empathise, close relatives wouldn't - I reside in my brother's room which is painted a very boy-like cold blue. When I convinced Mother to purchase curtains, at least we got navy ones, so that adds some depth to the chill. However, I now have to remove all semblance of warmth as, of course, the new duvet is ...
DRUM ROLL!!!!
... blue stripes of various sizes and tones... I really don't know why I didn't contemplate that this would happen. I won't dream of mentioning it, there's far too many raised eyebrows at any movement withing this house for my liking, I feel no need to add to them just now.
So, therein lies another dilemma ... do I persist in creating excuses for *having* to go back to Melbourne in my month long holidays by adding the need for warmth and colour in my life by rescuing my duvet, despite the fact that there kind of already is one here (NOW!) that I can use? Furthermore, do I purchase the acoustic bass that can *only* be picked up from Melbourne? Do I decide that I simply *must* go and take a look around Melbourne Uni before I contemplate contacting them about their fabulous Philosophy units? Do I follow Karys' advice and book the trip, knowing full well that all these extra things are just nice little add-on excuses? I could fool myself into thinking that it's not the main reason ...
... but then I know I'd be lying too. Meh. Decisions, decisions ...
Oops, too late now. All I can say is, just gorgeous, in that swoony kinda dreamy way ... hmmm.Moving on to the title of this post, I came home to a box shaped article in my doorway. Not remembering that I'd ordered anything of said shape recently - I do sometimes forget - I realised that mother had been shopping and has bought a duvet cover for the duvet she bought about three weeks for my bed. I had told myself I would go and pick my very own special duvet up from my other little home in Abbotsford whilst in Melbourne last week, but I was too busy counting t-shirts instead. I don't know if I really have the time, patience or ability to type for that long, but it goes without saying that my bed and my duvet/bedding are a couple of my most favourite things in the world. The year I bought the flat and all the associated furniture pretty much culminated with the purchase and delivery of the most comfortable thing I have ever had the pleasure of sleeping in. It is my sanctuary. And, when I was purchasing bedding, I flew in the face of 8 years of variously toned striped blue hues and went for something that I wanted and loved, as I no longer had to please anyone other than myself. So, it ended up being a dusty kinda dark pink, which I find incredibly romantic, seductive, warm, cosy and beautiful. Ooh I found a picture ... (please excuse the Eagles Bear)
Can you see where this is heading?
Anyways, I've only been back in Perth for a year now, making do with various tripled-up blankets, an eiderdown/coverlet/piece of rubbish, a beautiful deep red covered single duvet generously donated by Amanda and when I found it at Jen's in February, my lovely snuggly pinkish throw that I had for when I first moved to Melbourne and it was freezing in Glenlyon Road. Safe to say, this bed is not my sanctuary, its just a "make do" kind of a vaguely comfortable place where I spend most of my time whilst in the house. As I can't be in my old room - too long a story to go into, most would understand and empathise, close relatives wouldn't - I reside in my brother's room which is painted a very boy-like cold blue. When I convinced Mother to purchase curtains, at least we got navy ones, so that adds some depth to the chill. However, I now have to remove all semblance of warmth as, of course, the new duvet is ...
DRUM ROLL!!!!
... blue stripes of various sizes and tones... I really don't know why I didn't contemplate that this would happen. I won't dream of mentioning it, there's far too many raised eyebrows at any movement withing this house for my liking, I feel no need to add to them just now.
So, therein lies another dilemma ... do I persist in creating excuses for *having* to go back to Melbourne in my month long holidays by adding the need for warmth and colour in my life by rescuing my duvet, despite the fact that there kind of already is one here (NOW!) that I can use? Furthermore, do I purchase the acoustic bass that can *only* be picked up from Melbourne? Do I decide that I simply *must* go and take a look around Melbourne Uni before I contemplate contacting them about their fabulous Philosophy units? Do I follow Karys' advice and book the trip, knowing full well that all these extra things are just nice little add-on excuses? I could fool myself into thinking that it's not the main reason ...
... but then I know I'd be lying too. Meh. Decisions, decisions ...
Friday 13 June 2008
NO LIGHTS ...
Sheesh, red wine on the plane, what am I thinking? Things are getting desperate, or rather, back to normal? I'm not quite sure which it is, could be either really. Not that it matters, no-one else is keeping count, or tally, or whatever other word you'd like to call it ... Thanks for the mix Dan, this should keep me entertained for a wee while at least.
What was I going to write about? Things to be done I suppose, desires that are still wanting. What clarity has this morning provided? Not much more than from last night, however there are a few more friendly faces around town to make me feel welcome. Age is right though, I should make a list of the things I want to do, I'm not so sure about keeping it private, I don't really care what anyone else thinks, I just need to have it somehow I know I can refer to it, not hidden away where I'll never reflect on it. Let's see if I can get it to 10 just now ...
1. Learn Spanish - to no particular extent, just to start and to continue doing so if possible.
2. Purchase the acoustic bass that I've always been on about, and teach myself how to play.
3. Become a TM proper - I could amend this to being: go on tour overseas with a band I love, either or would do. However from the "Dreams" list it would be fabulous to be able to make it into a proper job.
4. Own a cat - doesn't go terribly well with the overseas TM job, but y'know, I'm trying to come up with 10 things here!
5. Learn to DJ - either that or just find a program where I can mix tracks into one another so I can do it at home. I doubt I'd be terribly good at it, I'd just still really like to do it.
6. Write more - blogs, stream of consciousness, diary, fiction, lyrics, prose, whatever. I should keep more of what I think, mostly so that I don't let it destroy my mind, but also just for, because I always said I couldn't.
7. Cook one new thing every week - difficult with the parentals, but necessary. And I could keep a journal of what I make, thereby writing more too.
8. Be more confident - believe in myself more, believe in people wanting to know and talk me. Speak to the people I want to, I need to lose the paralysing fear I have of rejection. Be more like I was on Friday night, I enjoyed the rush of it all, and it paid off handsomely ... oh, did it ever.
9. Move back to Melbourne - again, difficult, yet necessary. End of November looks good, set about making plans to make this happen.
10. Get married - so much easier said than done, but it does need to be acknowledged. There's no point pretending it isn't actually the longest real desire I've had on the list. I'm sending it out there, I want it happen. It ultimately has to be for love but it can start off with a visa/passport thing if necessary. I don't know how I manage to daydream so incredibly far off into the future from just one night, but ... oh, you never know. I don't know how I allow myself to (seemingly) be hurt so badly, yet to still think of the good in it; the possibility is still very very fresh in the air. That's today's perspective anyway, this very minute.
The silly boy is still very much desired. If only ...
OK, I made it to 10, that's an achievement in itself. Post it tonight, see where I go. Review soon, very soon.
What was I going to write about? Things to be done I suppose, desires that are still wanting. What clarity has this morning provided? Not much more than from last night, however there are a few more friendly faces around town to make me feel welcome. Age is right though, I should make a list of the things I want to do, I'm not so sure about keeping it private, I don't really care what anyone else thinks, I just need to have it somehow I know I can refer to it, not hidden away where I'll never reflect on it. Let's see if I can get it to 10 just now ...
1. Learn Spanish - to no particular extent, just to start and to continue doing so if possible.
2. Purchase the acoustic bass that I've always been on about, and teach myself how to play.
3. Become a TM proper - I could amend this to being: go on tour overseas with a band I love, either or would do. However from the "Dreams" list it would be fabulous to be able to make it into a proper job.
4. Own a cat - doesn't go terribly well with the overseas TM job, but y'know, I'm trying to come up with 10 things here!
5. Learn to DJ - either that or just find a program where I can mix tracks into one another so I can do it at home. I doubt I'd be terribly good at it, I'd just still really like to do it.
6. Write more - blogs, stream of consciousness, diary, fiction, lyrics, prose, whatever. I should keep more of what I think, mostly so that I don't let it destroy my mind, but also just for, because I always said I couldn't.
7. Cook one new thing every week - difficult with the parentals, but necessary. And I could keep a journal of what I make, thereby writing more too.
8. Be more confident - believe in myself more, believe in people wanting to know and talk me. Speak to the people I want to, I need to lose the paralysing fear I have of rejection. Be more like I was on Friday night, I enjoyed the rush of it all, and it paid off handsomely ... oh, did it ever.
9. Move back to Melbourne - again, difficult, yet necessary. End of November looks good, set about making plans to make this happen.
10. Get married - so much easier said than done, but it does need to be acknowledged. There's no point pretending it isn't actually the longest real desire I've had on the list. I'm sending it out there, I want it happen. It ultimately has to be for love but it can start off with a visa/passport thing if necessary. I don't know how I manage to daydream so incredibly far off into the future from just one night, but ... oh, you never know. I don't know how I allow myself to (seemingly) be hurt so badly, yet to still think of the good in it; the possibility is still very very fresh in the air. That's today's perspective anyway, this very minute.
The silly boy is still very much desired. If only ...
OK, I made it to 10, that's an achievement in itself. Post it tonight, see where I go. Review soon, very soon.
Tuesday 10 June 2008
I just finished an interview ...
I have done very few in my life (not including the impostering other people ones, oops!) so I thought it might be nice to preserve this. Thanks to Amy Richardson for asking, it's for her fanzine (do they still make these???) "Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams", and for some reason I'm writing about my time @ Jeepster. So, if you'd care to read on ...
1.When did you begin working with Jeepster, how did you get that job?
I think I started for proper in May 1997? There's kind of a pre-amble to that, which I hope you don't mind indulging me in? I'd met B&S when they came in to the record store I worked in before a show they were playing @ The Borderline in November 1996, around the time that "...Sinister" was released. Anyway, I ended up being involved in running their fanclub, which was how I met Mark Jones & Stef D'Andrew @ Jeepster, and they had a guy called Ben who was sort of the office assistant person at the time. I think he decided to go back to college, so Mark needed someone to help him run the London office and I said I'd do it as kinda work experience. I think I started on one day a week, it ended up as a trial thing and then I eventually had a job proper, somehow?!
2.What were your responsibilities at Jeepster?
They started out pretty basic: cups of tea, answering phones, etc. I think after all the time I spent there I ended up doing national and regional TV & radio plugging, national and regional press, A&R, office assistant, PA to Director's, merch girl, Production Manager, Manager, International liason, accounts, royalties, general dogsbody ... you name it I did it. It was a very collaborative kinda place to work, everyone pitched in and helped out as and when necessary.
3.Did you deal with Belle & Sebastian from the beginning of their time there?
Umm, yeah, I suppose I must have done? I knew them already, from having met them in the record store and running the fanclub with David from our flat, so I would have been dealing with Neil and the rest of them as and when necessary. Oh sorry, I've just re-read your question! No, I wasn't working there when they were first signed to the label, I only started after the "Dog On Wheels" EP was released and the first record I worked on was the "Lazy Line Painter Jane" EP. And obviously "If You're Feeling Sinister" had come out before both of them.
4.What was your involvement with the band?
Mostly dealing with Stuart & Neil's requests, I think? And then just label stuff like I mentioned above, like fielding press/radio enquiries, helping organise the webchat we did via the IMC #sinister chat room (that was pretty memorable!), sold merch at the gigs - which was my first experience of going "on tour"; booking accom for tours, listening to test pressings. All sorts of stuff! Obviously I was a lot more involved with B&S when I moved up to Glasgow to work for them proper, but when I was at Jeepster, it was mostly that kind of stuff. Such a long time ago now, its kind of hard to remember!
5.What was the best thing about working at Jeepster?
Fulfilling my long held dream of working in London in the music industry.
6.And the worst?
Realising that despite the fact that everyone should want the same thing, bands and labels are sometimes opposed to the best way to go about achieving said "things", and that if you work for the label, you can't be on the bands side. I suppose I realised that the most important thing in my life, music, was actually a business at the end of the day for everyone, the artists included. That took a little of the shine off it, off my favourite songs saying and meaning so much to me and moving me in ways that I'd never experienced before. But, it was something I think I had to learn, and going from a label to a management position kinda highlighted the paradoxes in a sense. It's certainly not a bad thing to realise, it just came a little later to me than most who work in "the biz". I was very naive though!
7.Do you listen to B&S now ever? Do you have a favourite record of theirs?
No, I don't listen to them anymore. I sometimes think - like I am now typing this - about my favourite B&S songs and how much they've meant to me in the past, but I don't have any on my iPod or computer, and all my music is in storage, so I'd have to go and buy it all if I wanted to! I have really fond memories of every record, and I love that it's kind of impossible to think about the songs pre-DCW without thinking mostly of the album. That was the point, that was what they were trying to achieve and totally did it. Such a great legacy, Stuart is certainly a man of vision and belief in himself and his ways of doing things! I love "Tigermilk", and "The Boy With The Arab Strap". I love the "3..6..9..." EP as well as "...Modern Rock Song". I really love "Legal Man" too. I just don't listen to them anymore.
8.Name your top song, book and film:
Oh gees, do you mean of all time? Only one of each? My goodness, I really don't know if I can! I can't figure out whether I should treat this as a recommendation or a self-explanation? Or just my favourite? I'll have to come back to these! I've decided on most popular, for me at least. So that's most times viewed/read/listened to ...
SONG: Joy Division "Twenty-Four Hours" (I have to listen to it again now, so so so amazing. The slight delay on the snare (I think that's what it is) kills me every time. Sends me into a trance.
BOOK: Enid Blyton "The Folk of the Faraway Tree" This book has inspired me to live the fantasy life I do.
FILM: Grease, I have seen this so very very many times and I love it every time.
Three quick alternatives ... "Heroes" by David Bowie, "Blow Up" with David Hemingway and Kurt Vonnegut's "Breakfast of Champions".
9. When / why did you stop working at Jeepster?
Couple of reasons, mainly that B&S were looking for someone to run the merch out of their office in Glasgow, and it was a job and move I quite fancied. There are personal reasons involved too, but that's kinda boring. I'd also realised that - kind of like I mentioned before - my loyalties lay more with the bands interests than the label's interests, so having the opportunity to jump to the good ship Banchory, it was a good time for both me and Jeepster to leave. It was August 1999 I think?
10. What are you doing at the moment?
I started a BA this year, I never went to University after school, so I found myself living back in my home town - Perth, WA - and thought I might give it a go. However, the same day I got my acceptance, the international manager of my favourite band in Australia got in contact looking for someone to oversee the Australian stuff! So I find myself studying full time and working part time for Cut Copy http://www.cutcopy.net I'm actually over in Melbourne with them just now, as they're on their national tour promoting their second album and I'm organising all the after parties, amongst other things. LOts of fun, but VERY different to B&S!
11. Do you still keep in touch with any of B&S?
Yeah, it was Stuart & Marisa's wedding last weekend in Glasgow and I would have given my right arm to have been there. I miss them all awfully, I worked for them in Glasgow for nearly seven years, plus the two that I was at Jeepster for, so they're a massive part of my life. I never write anywhere near enough, I don't think anybody really does though. But I sort of keep in touch through other people and method's - like Facebook! B&S became my family, seeing as mine were all on the other side of the world! The Banchory office was a very jolly place to be most of the time, very safe and I was very comfortable in amongst it all. It is a family really, all the touring folk, crew, session musicians, label people, accountants & lawyers and management. We had a really nice little self-contained unit and it was my life. Sad as that may sound!
12. What’s your favourite animal?
Oooh, I dunno? I love all animals. I do love cats a lot, I suppose they could be my favourite? Penguins and otters too. Hairy Coos as well! And I find myself liking dogs a lot more than I used to these days too.
Sheesh, I suppose I better go back and do the song/book/film thing now then!
1.When did you begin working with Jeepster, how did you get that job?
I think I started for proper in May 1997? There's kind of a pre-amble to that, which I hope you don't mind indulging me in? I'd met B&S when they came in to the record store I worked in before a show they were playing @ The Borderline in November 1996, around the time that "...Sinister" was released. Anyway, I ended up being involved in running their fanclub, which was how I met Mark Jones & Stef D'Andrew @ Jeepster, and they had a guy called Ben who was sort of the office assistant person at the time. I think he decided to go back to college, so Mark needed someone to help him run the London office and I said I'd do it as kinda work experience. I think I started on one day a week, it ended up as a trial thing and then I eventually had a job proper, somehow?!
2.What were your responsibilities at Jeepster?
They started out pretty basic: cups of tea, answering phones, etc. I think after all the time I spent there I ended up doing national and regional TV & radio plugging, national and regional press, A&R, office assistant, PA to Director's, merch girl, Production Manager, Manager, International liason, accounts, royalties, general dogsbody ... you name it I did it. It was a very collaborative kinda place to work, everyone pitched in and helped out as and when necessary.
3.Did you deal with Belle & Sebastian from the beginning of their time there?
Umm, yeah, I suppose I must have done? I knew them already, from having met them in the record store and running the fanclub with David from our flat, so I would have been dealing with Neil and the rest of them as and when necessary. Oh sorry, I've just re-read your question! No, I wasn't working there when they were first signed to the label, I only started after the "Dog On Wheels" EP was released and the first record I worked on was the "Lazy Line Painter Jane" EP. And obviously "If You're Feeling Sinister" had come out before both of them.
4.What was your involvement with the band?
Mostly dealing with Stuart & Neil's requests, I think? And then just label stuff like I mentioned above, like fielding press/radio enquiries, helping organise the webchat we did via the IMC #sinister chat room (that was pretty memorable!), sold merch at the gigs - which was my first experience of going "on tour"; booking accom for tours, listening to test pressings. All sorts of stuff! Obviously I was a lot more involved with B&S when I moved up to Glasgow to work for them proper, but when I was at Jeepster, it was mostly that kind of stuff. Such a long time ago now, its kind of hard to remember!
5.What was the best thing about working at Jeepster?
Fulfilling my long held dream of working in London in the music industry.
6.And the worst?
Realising that despite the fact that everyone should want the same thing, bands and labels are sometimes opposed to the best way to go about achieving said "things", and that if you work for the label, you can't be on the bands side. I suppose I realised that the most important thing in my life, music, was actually a business at the end of the day for everyone, the artists included. That took a little of the shine off it, off my favourite songs saying and meaning so much to me and moving me in ways that I'd never experienced before. But, it was something I think I had to learn, and going from a label to a management position kinda highlighted the paradoxes in a sense. It's certainly not a bad thing to realise, it just came a little later to me than most who work in "the biz". I was very naive though!
7.Do you listen to B&S now ever? Do you have a favourite record of theirs?
No, I don't listen to them anymore. I sometimes think - like I am now typing this - about my favourite B&S songs and how much they've meant to me in the past, but I don't have any on my iPod or computer, and all my music is in storage, so I'd have to go and buy it all if I wanted to! I have really fond memories of every record, and I love that it's kind of impossible to think about the songs pre-DCW without thinking mostly of the album. That was the point, that was what they were trying to achieve and totally did it. Such a great legacy, Stuart is certainly a man of vision and belief in himself and his ways of doing things! I love "Tigermilk", and "The Boy With The Arab Strap". I love the "3..6..9..." EP as well as "...Modern Rock Song". I really love "Legal Man" too. I just don't listen to them anymore.
8.Name your top song, book and film:
Oh gees, do you mean of all time? Only one of each? My goodness, I really don't know if I can! I can't figure out whether I should treat this as a recommendation or a self-explanation? Or just my favourite? I'll have to come back to these! I've decided on most popular, for me at least. So that's most times viewed/read/listened to ...
SONG: Joy Division "Twenty-Four Hours" (I have to listen to it again now, so so so amazing. The slight delay on the snare (I think that's what it is) kills me every time. Sends me into a trance.
BOOK: Enid Blyton "The Folk of the Faraway Tree" This book has inspired me to live the fantasy life I do.
FILM: Grease, I have seen this so very very many times and I love it every time.
Three quick alternatives ... "Heroes" by David Bowie, "Blow Up" with David Hemingway and Kurt Vonnegut's "Breakfast of Champions".
9. When / why did you stop working at Jeepster?
Couple of reasons, mainly that B&S were looking for someone to run the merch out of their office in Glasgow, and it was a job and move I quite fancied. There are personal reasons involved too, but that's kinda boring. I'd also realised that - kind of like I mentioned before - my loyalties lay more with the bands interests than the label's interests, so having the opportunity to jump to the good ship Banchory, it was a good time for both me and Jeepster to leave. It was August 1999 I think?
10. What are you doing at the moment?
I started a BA this year, I never went to University after school, so I found myself living back in my home town - Perth, WA - and thought I might give it a go. However, the same day I got my acceptance, the international manager of my favourite band in Australia got in contact looking for someone to oversee the Australian stuff! So I find myself studying full time and working part time for Cut Copy http://www.cutcopy.net I'm actually over in Melbourne with them just now, as they're on their national tour promoting their second album and I'm organising all the after parties, amongst other things. LOts of fun, but VERY different to B&S!
11. Do you still keep in touch with any of B&S?
Yeah, it was Stuart & Marisa's wedding last weekend in Glasgow and I would have given my right arm to have been there. I miss them all awfully, I worked for them in Glasgow for nearly seven years, plus the two that I was at Jeepster for, so they're a massive part of my life. I never write anywhere near enough, I don't think anybody really does though. But I sort of keep in touch through other people and method's - like Facebook! B&S became my family, seeing as mine were all on the other side of the world! The Banchory office was a very jolly place to be most of the time, very safe and I was very comfortable in amongst it all. It is a family really, all the touring folk, crew, session musicians, label people, accountants & lawyers and management. We had a really nice little self-contained unit and it was my life. Sad as that may sound!
12. What’s your favourite animal?
Oooh, I dunno? I love all animals. I do love cats a lot, I suppose they could be my favourite? Penguins and otters too. Hairy Coos as well! And I find myself liking dogs a lot more than I used to these days too.
Sheesh, I suppose I better go back and do the song/book/film thing now then!
DEVO!!!
Ahhh, I wish this didn't always end up as a bunch of rambling thoughts, and was an actual coherent structured useful record or narrative for others to read. Still, I think I'll have to do an *awful* lot of free writing to be able to rid myself of the stream of consciousness style I am so accustomed to. I'd love to be able to write other things. I'd really love to be able to write music, if I was being truly honest with myself in my heart of hearts as to what I'd like to do. But, as per usual, there are 10 million blocks I put in place of my being able to. You don't have the right equipment, or time or creativity or whatever. The wee Casio is just not going to cut it I fear!
TANGENT TIME!
Remember that list I wrote of all the things I wanted to buy with my house money when I left Glasgow? I don't think I got any of them except for the bike. No car, no diamonds, no acoustic bass guitar, no scooter. I'm sure there was heaps more ... I don't really need any of those things either, boy do I have enough shite to sink a ship, but I would still like them all. And I would really like to try the guitar ... Do I find that when I do get the right tools, after procrastinating that I can't do such-and-such because of so-and-so, that things actually start to work? I'm not sure, I'm not sure I let/force myself to reflect back on things like that. Maybe I should?
BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND ...
I've sat back wanting others to ask me to be involved for the longest time. Pretty bloody stupid really, if I'm learning anything from this trip, it's to be open to things, and have no expectations. That's crap, if I've learned anything from Friday night it's that nice things happen when you least expect it every so often! There's no universal "this will happen if you think blah blah blah", it's all chance and whatnot, most of it I have no control over. I only have control over how I let it affect me. And that's what this kind of writing helps to do; let those horrid hating angsty feelings out, remove them from my conscious and avail me of mental power to be more proactive in other things.
WHINGE TIME ...
Why is it so easy for all these boys to fall into collaborative projects as they do? What the FUCK are all the girls doing at the same time? I know for sure that some of them do make themselves available, but why do we feel that our projects should be solo projects? Does it come from some sense of having to prove "I can do it myself?" Seems kind of logical as I type it, but I would HATE for that to be the answer? I hope Em find her creative side stimulated beyond her wildest dreams from forging out into new collaborative projects. I don't really know where I can go with my desires for creativity. I'd like to have the encouragement and support of others, no wonder I crave being "part" of something all the time. I'm not brave enough to forge my path on my own ... well, maybe I am actually, but I think it would be more fun having the hands of others to hold and their arms to fall back on and shoulders to cry on when the need arises. And more mouths for drinking copious amounts of alcohol and laughing like crazed goons with when it all goes right and there is celebrating to be done.
I'll find my niche, somehow, someday. I do really like the idea of coming back here for the summer. Finding a sublet, soaking it all up again. Exploring and seeing where I end up. But for now, I think I will just have to accept that I could possibly return before then, and most probably will not.
But I am going to go and see how much it would be to fly over when DEVO are here, as it would be terribly stupid not to, don't you think?
TANGENT TIME!
Remember that list I wrote of all the things I wanted to buy with my house money when I left Glasgow? I don't think I got any of them except for the bike. No car, no diamonds, no acoustic bass guitar, no scooter. I'm sure there was heaps more ... I don't really need any of those things either, boy do I have enough shite to sink a ship, but I would still like them all. And I would really like to try the guitar ... Do I find that when I do get the right tools, after procrastinating that I can't do such-and-such because of so-and-so, that things actually start to work? I'm not sure, I'm not sure I let/force myself to reflect back on things like that. Maybe I should?
BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND ...
I've sat back wanting others to ask me to be involved for the longest time. Pretty bloody stupid really, if I'm learning anything from this trip, it's to be open to things, and have no expectations. That's crap, if I've learned anything from Friday night it's that nice things happen when you least expect it every so often! There's no universal "this will happen if you think blah blah blah", it's all chance and whatnot, most of it I have no control over. I only have control over how I let it affect me. And that's what this kind of writing helps to do; let those horrid hating angsty feelings out, remove them from my conscious and avail me of mental power to be more proactive in other things.
WHINGE TIME ...
Why is it so easy for all these boys to fall into collaborative projects as they do? What the FUCK are all the girls doing at the same time? I know for sure that some of them do make themselves available, but why do we feel that our projects should be solo projects? Does it come from some sense of having to prove "I can do it myself?" Seems kind of logical as I type it, but I would HATE for that to be the answer? I hope Em find her creative side stimulated beyond her wildest dreams from forging out into new collaborative projects. I don't really know where I can go with my desires for creativity. I'd like to have the encouragement and support of others, no wonder I crave being "part" of something all the time. I'm not brave enough to forge my path on my own ... well, maybe I am actually, but I think it would be more fun having the hands of others to hold and their arms to fall back on and shoulders to cry on when the need arises. And more mouths for drinking copious amounts of alcohol and laughing like crazed goons with when it all goes right and there is celebrating to be done.
I'll find my niche, somehow, someday. I do really like the idea of coming back here for the summer. Finding a sublet, soaking it all up again. Exploring and seeing where I end up. But for now, I think I will just have to accept that I could possibly return before then, and most probably will not.
But I am going to go and see how much it would be to fly over when DEVO are here, as it would be terribly stupid not to, don't you think?
crap from last night ...
So, Em believes I have to put the good vibes out there. Believe I deserve good things to happen to me, so I can encourage them in. People are a lot better with the universe on this side of the country, I wonder why that is? Anyway, regardless of why, I'm putting it out there; I want something beautiful, special, deep, personal, intense, magickal and wonderful. I want it, I deserve it and I hope it happens. I can't wait to meet that person, I hope he's excited about finding me too.
Melbourne takes my breath away with its vibrancy, yet it can also be terribly soulless at times. I'm enjoying being the me I am now here this trip. Things are clearer, I'm more at ease and I have more of a sense of purpose about myself. A confidence in me. Certainly encouraged by various recent others, they do and don't need to know/know who they are. I like the me I am this time, I feel comfortable in it. And it seems to be repaying me in spades too. How fabulous is that? I'm certainly not complaining :)
Melbourne takes my breath away with its vibrancy, yet it can also be terribly soulless at times. I'm enjoying being the me I am now here this trip. Things are clearer, I'm more at ease and I have more of a sense of purpose about myself. A confidence in me. Certainly encouraged by various recent others, they do and don't need to know/know who they are. I like the me I am this time, I feel comfortable in it. And it seems to be repaying me in spades too. How fabulous is that? I'm certainly not complaining :)
Wednesday 4 June 2008
something i wrote
I feel like I’ve woken up in a dream and here I am in the library, the alien library, the University library, where all around are people I won't ever get to know properly, all seemingly part of my life and existence, yet I can wish them away in a second by focusing on this ridiculously odd path I seem to have found myself in.
How the hell did I choose this?
How the hell did I think this was the right thing to do?
I know I was clutching at straws and that this possibility seemed the least difficult most useful path to take, but is it right? Is it really what I should be doing?
How will I find that out? At what point will the monkey jump up and down and say well done, you can move on to the next level?
I have said I’ve committed to three years, but in my heart of hearts I know that’s bollocks and this may only be a very short stop gap to something else. What that something else will be I have absolutely no idea, I don’t really know if there is a right thing to do next.
I still need help to find those answers, I know its wrong to want someone to help, that I really need to be decide for myself and be happy in those choices because of that, but I find myself yet again wishing that I had the guidance of someone I really trusted, who really knew to help me choose.
I haven’t found that yet. I love all my friends, I love them dearly and I would be lost and gone without them, but still, it shouldn’t be this hard to find someone to help, should it?
Stop looking around, it’s not helping. The only thing to do is focus, focus on what needs doing and do it so you then have clarity to be able to focus again on the next thing, which could possibly be this.
OK?
How the hell did I choose this?
How the hell did I think this was the right thing to do?
I know I was clutching at straws and that this possibility seemed the least difficult most useful path to take, but is it right? Is it really what I should be doing?
How will I find that out? At what point will the monkey jump up and down and say well done, you can move on to the next level?
I have said I’ve committed to three years, but in my heart of hearts I know that’s bollocks and this may only be a very short stop gap to something else. What that something else will be I have absolutely no idea, I don’t really know if there is a right thing to do next.
I still need help to find those answers, I know its wrong to want someone to help, that I really need to be decide for myself and be happy in those choices because of that, but I find myself yet again wishing that I had the guidance of someone I really trusted, who really knew to help me choose.
I haven’t found that yet. I love all my friends, I love them dearly and I would be lost and gone without them, but still, it shouldn’t be this hard to find someone to help, should it?
Stop looking around, it’s not helping. The only thing to do is focus, focus on what needs doing and do it so you then have clarity to be able to focus again on the next thing, which could possibly be this.
OK?
Sunday 1 June 2008
Somebody
I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life, share my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details. Someone who'll stand by my side and give me support, and in return he'll get my support. He will listen to me when I want to speak about the world we live in, and life in general. Though my views may be wrong they may even be perverted, he'll hear me out and won' t easily be converted to my way of thinking, in fact he'll often disagree. But at the end of it all he will understand me.
I want somebody who cares for me passionately with every thought and with every breath.
Someone who'll help me see things in a different light, all the things I detest I will almost like. I don't want to be tied to anyones strings, I'm carefully trying to steer clear of those things. But when I'm asleep I want somebody qho will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderly. Though things like this make me sick, in a case like this, I'll get away with it.
Oh, Mr Gore, you have an awful lot to answer for. I had a dream where I did have someone like this last night/this morning/whatever you want to call it. I'll now be seeing this person in a different light, he treated me so beautifully. I was quite amazing - to me, cos I can't say I'm actually used to it - just how loving and tender someone could be, and I wonder if he is actually like this in "real life"? (That's such a rubbish saying, real life, anyway) He has a very lucky girlfriend if so. I'll probably get all aflustered the next time I see him, that'll be dead embarrassing. I've not been able to shake the feeling of this dream all day, kind of nice in a way as I feel protected and loved by it, but when my head hits the pillow later on, I'm sure I won't be smiling. Who knows. It'd be lovely to have that dream every night and wake up feeling that way everyday, I'll see if I can encourage that instead.
I want somebody who cares for me passionately with every thought and with every breath.
Someone who'll help me see things in a different light, all the things I detest I will almost like. I don't want to be tied to anyones strings, I'm carefully trying to steer clear of those things. But when I'm asleep I want somebody qho will put their arms around me and kiss me tenderly. Though things like this make me sick, in a case like this, I'll get away with it.
Oh, Mr Gore, you have an awful lot to answer for. I had a dream where I did have someone like this last night/this morning/whatever you want to call it. I'll now be seeing this person in a different light, he treated me so beautifully. I was quite amazing - to me, cos I can't say I'm actually used to it - just how loving and tender someone could be, and I wonder if he is actually like this in "real life"? (That's such a rubbish saying, real life, anyway) He has a very lucky girlfriend if so. I'll probably get all aflustered the next time I see him, that'll be dead embarrassing. I've not been able to shake the feeling of this dream all day, kind of nice in a way as I feel protected and loved by it, but when my head hits the pillow later on, I'm sure I won't be smiling. Who knows. It'd be lovely to have that dream every night and wake up feeling that way everyday, I'll see if I can encourage that instead.
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