Day Two

It would be so easy to say, "no, I can do this tomorrow", but I am trying to be GOOD and I will do it today instead. There's too much to write about today, so here's some bullet points:-

* The nightmare style dream about losing my front lower left incisor (yes, I did have to count just then with my tongue to ensure which side it was on) and Simon being ever-so-unhelpful. Abandoned on Sauchiehall Street (except - of course! - it wasn't *really* Sauchiehall Street) trying to make my way to the Dental Hospital; grey grey forboding skies; the walk home along Argyle Street to the West End, the parties and fair-type festivities in the "square" past the office turnoff on the Sauchiehall Street WE extension part, near Bar Miro; the squat that was suddenly in sunshine and colour, the staircase to it's top - was it an outside fire escape inside? - and the gathering within it, Rox was definitely there; the weird feeling I am getting typing this now that the last part there might actually be another dream, the one with Blair and the high flats like Nanna's with the grass that I can see in neo-colour just now. That dream had the same skies ...

* My horrid hyperactivity of this morning and inane Cheshire Cat grin. What causes such behaviours? Anxiety provoked of course.

* The episode with Mum, Dad and Manoj; his suggestions of them helping fund my independence, which brought great pleasure to me, but then the thought on the bus home, at what cost? Indebted to them, I would no longer be independent, as I don't imagine I'd ever be allowed to forget they were funding it, like it was at school and for years after. Is it worth the hassle?

* Shopping. Felt good at the time, yet I still haven't unpacked it and it had to hide it all away on the way home so I wasn't questioned about it. Felt like I was at school again. Ridiculous.

Time for a little more looking, then sleep. Double gym tomorrow, here's hoping.